Update On Dad...End Near
The last month has been very trying at times. Thank goodness we have a close knit family and each of us contributes as best we can in taking care of dad. Two people are needed at all times and hospice has been called in to assist. He is to the point of very little intake of food (maybe half bowl of cereal a day) and very little fluids. He is having a hard time swallowing at all and can barely talk.
The main problem, at this point, is he still wants to do things for himself. He has to constantly be reminded that without our help, if he falls, he will be put in the hospital and/or nursing home for recovery purposes should he break anything....and we would rather see him stay at home where he wants to be. His sense of humor is still there.
We have an aid come in to bath him since he doesn't want his daughters doing that (which we fully understand). We use a baby monitor to keep track of him when he's in his bedroom resting because he has a tendency to try and "sneak" out of bed without us hearing him (guess that's where we get our stubbornness from). He doesn't seem to realize just how weak his legs are getting.
The prediction is that he has less than two weeks to live and hospice meds are already available for the relief of pain, anxiety/agitation, and breathing comfort. Oxygen has also been brought in but at this point he refuses to use it. He said if he wanted more oxygen, he would just go outside to get more :>) (there's that humor)!
If you have never gone through seeing someone you love, waste away in this way, it can be a real shock. In my time taking care of him, every week that I arrive at his home (three hours away), he appears more emaciated than the week before and I think "This will be his last few days", only to go the next week and see that his appearance is even worse but he's still hanging on. With two siblings on duty at all times, it gives one person a chance to rest for three or four hours and still have the option of that person being there should there be a need for two people to help with a situation in his care. But believe me, at the end of two or three days, you become exhausted yourself and are relieved when the next two siblings come for their rotation of caregiving. Yet, I wouldn't trade this time with my dad for anything!
If you think "things" are important in life...you're missing the boat. Keep your family close and don't miss an opportunity to tell them you love them!
The main problem, at this point, is he still wants to do things for himself. He has to constantly be reminded that without our help, if he falls, he will be put in the hospital and/or nursing home for recovery purposes should he break anything....and we would rather see him stay at home where he wants to be. His sense of humor is still there.
We have an aid come in to bath him since he doesn't want his daughters doing that (which we fully understand). We use a baby monitor to keep track of him when he's in his bedroom resting because he has a tendency to try and "sneak" out of bed without us hearing him (guess that's where we get our stubbornness from). He doesn't seem to realize just how weak his legs are getting.
The prediction is that he has less than two weeks to live and hospice meds are already available for the relief of pain, anxiety/agitation, and breathing comfort. Oxygen has also been brought in but at this point he refuses to use it. He said if he wanted more oxygen, he would just go outside to get more :>) (there's that humor)!
If you have never gone through seeing someone you love, waste away in this way, it can be a real shock. In my time taking care of him, every week that I arrive at his home (three hours away), he appears more emaciated than the week before and I think "This will be his last few days", only to go the next week and see that his appearance is even worse but he's still hanging on. With two siblings on duty at all times, it gives one person a chance to rest for three or four hours and still have the option of that person being there should there be a need for two people to help with a situation in his care. But believe me, at the end of two or three days, you become exhausted yourself and are relieved when the next two siblings come for their rotation of caregiving. Yet, I wouldn't trade this time with my dad for anything!
If you think "things" are important in life...you're missing the boat. Keep your family close and don't miss an opportunity to tell them you love them!
posted by J. Martin at 9:58 AM
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